CBC's Stupid "Bird Line"
CBC Saskatchewan has this stupid show they call "The Bird Line" where an ornithologist answers people's questions about bird sightings around their houses, farms, or communities. Oftentimes people describe a bird and ask him to give a name to it based on this description.
B.A.Q. made me listen to "The Bird Stupid Line" during the car rides on our honeymoon in return for him allowing me to listen to Steve Earle for four hours nonstop. Oh yeah. Copperhead Road, baby. I swear I was about to open the door and jump out at 113 km/hr before the hourly news would finally come on and mark the end of this ridiculous birdie line.
The poor bird line ornithologist tries to be courteous to the callers, but I can just tell that underneath he is boiling with rage, as am I, wanting to yell: "It's a bloody robin, you silly fool! Don't you know what a damn robin is? An American Robin?! Get off the damn phone and go buy yourself a Sibley's Field Guide about not being so stupid and wasting my time."
Speaking of annoying, just yesterday, this old guy phoned in and asked the following question: "Umm... there seems to be a huge green neon bird lying between two trees in my backyard... it is much larger than any other bird I have seen... about twenty times larger than your common chicken! What the heck is it? It's pretty scary looking! Should I call the RCMP? Oh, wait. I just put my glasses on. Sorry there. It's actually my grandkids' wading pool. You know, those ones shaped like crocodiles? With the cute crocodile slide? Yeah, that one. Sorry. Not a bird. Okay, I'm going to hang up now. I'll phone back next week with my next sighting!"
Okay, so maybe that didn't happen. But perhaps I will phone the birdie line next week pretending to be this guy. Or I will describe some outrageous nonexistent bird. Or perhaps describe a hippogryphon. Hmm... the possibilites are endless for spicing up this program if I can beat the overzealous bird observers to the phone.
B.A.Q. made me listen to "The Bird Stupid Line" during the car rides on our honeymoon in return for him allowing me to listen to Steve Earle for four hours nonstop. Oh yeah. Copperhead Road, baby. I swear I was about to open the door and jump out at 113 km/hr before the hourly news would finally come on and mark the end of this ridiculous birdie line.
The poor bird line ornithologist tries to be courteous to the callers, but I can just tell that underneath he is boiling with rage, as am I, wanting to yell: "It's a bloody robin, you silly fool! Don't you know what a damn robin is? An American Robin?! Get off the damn phone and go buy yourself a Sibley's Field Guide about not being so stupid and wasting my time."
Speaking of annoying, just yesterday, this old guy phoned in and asked the following question: "Umm... there seems to be a huge green neon bird lying between two trees in my backyard... it is much larger than any other bird I have seen... about twenty times larger than your common chicken! What the heck is it? It's pretty scary looking! Should I call the RCMP? Oh, wait. I just put my glasses on. Sorry there. It's actually my grandkids' wading pool. You know, those ones shaped like crocodiles? With the cute crocodile slide? Yeah, that one. Sorry. Not a bird. Okay, I'm going to hang up now. I'll phone back next week with my next sighting!"
Okay, so maybe that didn't happen. But perhaps I will phone the birdie line next week pretending to be this guy. Or I will describe some outrageous nonexistent bird. Or perhaps describe a hippogryphon. Hmm... the possibilites are endless for spicing up this program if I can beat the overzealous bird observers to the phone.
Greg's Dad sides with BAQ. He apparently listens to the Bird Line all the time.
Bran
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