A Visit to Costco
B.A.Q.: J.C.Q., when are you planning on updating your blog? Posting twice a month is taking advantage of your readers who expect much better than this
J.C.Q.: Then give me something worth posting about!
Costco, 36 hours later...
B.A.Q.: Ohhh! Look! It's Vaseline!
J.C.Q.: Yeah, so?
B.A.Q.: Look dear! I've been looking all over for Vaseline for the past year with no success until now
J.C.Q.: Did you go blindfolded through stores or what?
B.A.Q.: I'm serious! Vaseline is hard to find nowadays! I'm buying this! Come here Mr. Vaseline container. Oh wait, when I pick up this one container, the other one seems to be attached to it by some kind of plastic wrapping
J.C.Q.: That's because we're at Costco, dumbass, and I really don't think we need two big jars of Vaseline. I remember my friend Heidi telling me that her family bought one when she was a baby and they've since had four kids who are all grown up now and they still haven't used one-third of the jar. The teachers of the baby class they took told them to buy lots of it, and they've had the same jar forever. That stuff just never runs out!
B.A.Q.: So what? Look, seriously dear -- we can have this lifetime supply of Vaseline for only $5.85!
J.C.Q.: Great. Why don't we just buy one small container at some other store?
B.A.Q.: Because! Look, I swear! This stuff is rare! I haven't seen it around anywhere!
J.C.Q.: What, did all the petroleum reserves just dry up or something? Because I thought the market was looking pretty good the other day...
B.A.Q.: I'm putting this in our cart along with my six month's supply of toilet paper I will later make you buy for me since you will be using five months and 2.5 week's worth of it anyway. That's only fair.
On the drive back to J.C.Q.'s house
J.C.Q.: I still can't believe you made me buy all that Vaseline for you today. What do you use so much of it for anyway?
B.A.Q.: I use it as lip balm, of course!
J.C.Q.: You know, those lip balm companies sure rip us off. They want us to pay two dollars for a five gram stick of the stuff when you can buy a kilogram a Costco for only $5.85!
B.A.Q.: That's the spirit, dear!
J.C.Q.: Yeah well I still think you're stupid. But if we both used these two jars of Vaseline each year for lip balm instead of buying about ten dollars worth a year, we'd save... some 700 bucks!
B.A.Q.: Ah ha! So maybe I'm not that stupid after all, am I?
J.C.Q.: Quiet, B.A.Q.! I am trying to type!
J.C.Q.: Then give me something worth posting about!
Costco, 36 hours later...
B.A.Q.: Ohhh! Look! It's Vaseline!
J.C.Q.: Yeah, so?
B.A.Q.: Look dear! I've been looking all over for Vaseline for the past year with no success until now
J.C.Q.: Did you go blindfolded through stores or what?
B.A.Q.: I'm serious! Vaseline is hard to find nowadays! I'm buying this! Come here Mr. Vaseline container. Oh wait, when I pick up this one container, the other one seems to be attached to it by some kind of plastic wrapping
J.C.Q.: That's because we're at Costco, dumbass, and I really don't think we need two big jars of Vaseline. I remember my friend Heidi telling me that her family bought one when she was a baby and they've since had four kids who are all grown up now and they still haven't used one-third of the jar. The teachers of the baby class they took told them to buy lots of it, and they've had the same jar forever. That stuff just never runs out!
B.A.Q.: So what? Look, seriously dear -- we can have this lifetime supply of Vaseline for only $5.85!
J.C.Q.: Great. Why don't we just buy one small container at some other store?
B.A.Q.: Because! Look, I swear! This stuff is rare! I haven't seen it around anywhere!
J.C.Q.: What, did all the petroleum reserves just dry up or something? Because I thought the market was looking pretty good the other day...
B.A.Q.: I'm putting this in our cart along with my six month's supply of toilet paper I will later make you buy for me since you will be using five months and 2.5 week's worth of it anyway. That's only fair.
On the drive back to J.C.Q.'s house
J.C.Q.: I still can't believe you made me buy all that Vaseline for you today. What do you use so much of it for anyway?
B.A.Q.: I use it as lip balm, of course!
J.C.Q.: You know, those lip balm companies sure rip us off. They want us to pay two dollars for a five gram stick of the stuff when you can buy a kilogram a Costco for only $5.85!
B.A.Q.: That's the spirit, dear!
J.C.Q.: Yeah well I still think you're stupid. But if we both used these two jars of Vaseline each year for lip balm instead of buying about ten dollars worth a year, we'd save... some 700 bucks!
B.A.Q.: Ah ha! So maybe I'm not that stupid after all, am I?
J.C.Q.: Quiet, B.A.Q.! I am trying to type!
