A Visit to Dairy Queen Drive through
Attendant: Welcome to Dairy Queen. What can I get you today?
J.C.Q.: One small Extreme Chocolate Blizzard, please.
Attendant: That'll be $5.08. Please drive ahead.
J.C.Q. [Makes B.A.Q. pay, receives blizzard, takes a spoonful] B.A.Q., will you please go through the drive through again?
Attendant: Welcome to Dairy Queen. Can I take your order?
J.C.Q.: No, but you can go get the Manager on this thing
Attendant: Umm... Okay...
Manager: Hello, Mikey Burns, Store Manager of Dairy Queen South Albert speaking.
J.C.Q.: Hi Mikey. You know, over the years, I have put up with Dairy Queen's use of e-words: extra, enormous, earthquake... but I really don't believe this Extreme Chocolate Blizzard is all that extreme. The only thing extreme about it is the price. But I don't think that's what you were trying to go for. Here's a better e-word to describe your product: excessive. As in excessive and abusive use of brownie bits. I almost chocked on the brownies before going into a diabetic coma.
Manager: Is there anything else you'd like to mention, ma'am?
J.C.Q.: Yes, I think you need a breakfast product to keep up with the other fast-food chain restaurants. Since you're all into taking things to ridiculous extremes, I suggest a Mach 3 Razor with bacon and egg blizzard for all those Type A business people. In keeping with your stupid farm-animal theme, you could call it Eggstreme Breakfast and market it along with your Moolattes. Then, you know, you'd not only have some lady going crazy over the Moolattes, but some guy who ate razor blades for breakfast trying to kill her. After all, you're all about "Doing something different."
Manager: I see.
B.A.Q.: Yeah, and speaking of Moolattes, you should call them Boolattes because they suck or Poolattes because they taste like c...
J.C.Q.: ...be quiet B.A.Q.! You are not helping, and nobody will think that's funny when I post this on my blog.
B.A.Q.: Pfft, whatever. Sorry.
J.C.Q.: Mr. Manager, here's an even better idea! Max 6 Blizzard. Max 5 chocolate bar with DQ soft-serve.
Manager: I am sorry your burger tasted that bad, Ma'am. If you drive forward I'll give you a coupon for a new one.
J.C.Q.: No really. That's okay. Put the money toward a new drive through voice system.
Manager: What?
Okay, so the part after me taking a spoonful of Blizzard is all in my head. But hey, the fact that I made B.A.Q. pay for it is still funny and true!
J.C.Q.: One small Extreme Chocolate Blizzard, please.
Attendant: That'll be $5.08. Please drive ahead.
J.C.Q. [Makes B.A.Q. pay, receives blizzard, takes a spoonful] B.A.Q., will you please go through the drive through again?
Attendant: Welcome to Dairy Queen. Can I take your order?
J.C.Q.: No, but you can go get the Manager on this thing
Attendant: Umm... Okay...
Manager: Hello, Mikey Burns, Store Manager of Dairy Queen South Albert speaking.
J.C.Q.: Hi Mikey. You know, over the years, I have put up with Dairy Queen's use of e-words: extra, enormous, earthquake... but I really don't believe this Extreme Chocolate Blizzard is all that extreme. The only thing extreme about it is the price. But I don't think that's what you were trying to go for. Here's a better e-word to describe your product: excessive. As in excessive and abusive use of brownie bits. I almost chocked on the brownies before going into a diabetic coma.
Manager: Is there anything else you'd like to mention, ma'am?
J.C.Q.: Yes, I think you need a breakfast product to keep up with the other fast-food chain restaurants. Since you're all into taking things to ridiculous extremes, I suggest a Mach 3 Razor with bacon and egg blizzard for all those Type A business people. In keeping with your stupid farm-animal theme, you could call it Eggstreme Breakfast and market it along with your Moolattes. Then, you know, you'd not only have some lady going crazy over the Moolattes, but some guy who ate razor blades for breakfast trying to kill her. After all, you're all about "Doing something different."
Manager: I see.
B.A.Q.: Yeah, and speaking of Moolattes, you should call them Boolattes because they suck or Poolattes because they taste like c...
J.C.Q.: ...be quiet B.A.Q.! You are not helping, and nobody will think that's funny when I post this on my blog.
B.A.Q.: Pfft, whatever. Sorry.
J.C.Q.: Mr. Manager, here's an even better idea! Max 6 Blizzard. Max 5 chocolate bar with DQ soft-serve.
Manager: I am sorry your burger tasted that bad, Ma'am. If you drive forward I'll give you a coupon for a new one.
J.C.Q.: No really. That's okay. Put the money toward a new drive through voice system.
Manager: What?
Okay, so the part after me taking a spoonful of Blizzard is all in my head. But hey, the fact that I made B.A.Q. pay for it is still funny and true!
OMG! That was awesome!
You're too funny!
-Sonia
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:49 PM
I actually thought it was true for the first few lines. I think it would have been great if you would have told the manager that the bilzzard was "extreme", extremely bad!
Posted by
Tamara |
5:06 PM